Day 6 June 9, 2007
Today is official day 6 of my most recent decision to lose weight. It is my first Saturday, which I expected weekends to be difficult with all of our activities. But this was a great first weekend to begin and this should be easier. My DH is out of town, so no temptation from him, I woke up with great intentions.
But we were rushing to get my DD to one of her activities. Since I dropped off a few of the kids, another parent offered to bring my DD home for me-after she finished her work out. “So that’s how she does it”, I thought to myself. This particular mom is so cute, she always has her makeup on and her hair looks good and is always dressed nicely. BTW: She’s 5-10 years older than me. Ouch. I’m not jealous, it just makes me more critical of myself. What would my mother say? But I refuse to get jealous. I love my life and appreciate everything I’ve been blessed with.
But, I do want to lose weight. This morning the scale said a really high number. Well, it’s still lower than my starting weight, but it is higher than yesterday. I knew better than to get on it today. (Everyday is not good) I know I excercized longer and harder yesterday than I usually do and I only ate an extra ¼ cup of beans and rice and 1 or 2 extra bowls of mostly vegetable soup, so I have no reason to beat myself up about the apparent gain. I still consumed an amount of calories within my goal range.
But as I sit here at my computer, trying to get a CD Rom to play unsuccessfully, I have begun to feel hungry. But I’m pretty sure it’s not hunger, but boredom. I have found out by observing my habits and tendencies that I have developed an association with eating while on the computer.
Since I work at home on the computer for a few hours each day, this is not OK. I have made a commitment to myself not to eat at the computer-just water and veggie stix. But I drank a V8 before I started blogging. And I hate to say it, but I almost ate a cookie. Thankfully, I sent all of them with my daughter this morning, so there was only 2 cookie pieces about 1 inch square each for me to eat. Then I began to warm up the soup. It is mostly broth-a tiny but of spinach noodles and celery, carrots and spinach. But since it is 10am and part of my goal is to eat at meal times only. It is especially difficult for me to do this when I’m working.
When I’m working, it is tempting for me to eat all day long. I allow myself breakfast and Lunch at 12noon. I can have water and veggie stix in between and part of breakfast, since I usually don’t finish it, but no meals.
The fact of the matter is that soup, even light soup, is a meal, not a snack. Aughhh! This is so hard for me. I think I am addicted to food-either mentally or physically. This is the blog of a mad woman.
This is so hard for me. I will have to pray and beg. But I know that God has given us power and authority over things like this, actually over all things and that this problem is already beneath my feet.
I spend a lot of time thinking about what caused me to become overweight. I used to say that I’m not sure what I was doing wrong. I was never the type to eat a whole carton of ice cream or to eat donuts all day everyday. But maybe it was small things like eating food all day. And I have finally realized that my portion sizes were too big.
An example of this I learned this week was this week when I prepared salmon for my family. At Costco they carry salmon frozen in individual little bags. They defrost in minutes and it is easy to cook a little or a lot. We usually cook 1 per person. But this week, since we’re all eating healthier, I wanted to make sure I was only preparing just enough: 3 oz each for me and the kids and 5 oz for DH.
Well, in the past, I thought I was doing good if I limited myself to just 1 of the individual salmon filets. Well, this week I found out that each filet is 7oz, which means each filet was more than 2 servings!! See, the whole way we have been viewing food has to have been wrong.
You know what is a trip? I really am not hungry. I don’t have hunger pains. I don’t remember having them yesterday either. The hard part for me is that food is a part of my life. Food is too much a large part of my life. We revolve everything around food. Food is entertainment-when we want to go somewhere fun-we go out to eat. When we want to celebrate all of us and my husband’s family go out to eat, too. I just need to establish a habit of eating at the correct times and continuing to excercize as I have committed myself to. I feel so relieved, I’ve made it to 11am. Just 1 more hour to lunch. Is that normal? Is it sane? You don’t realize how much your life revolves around food until you try to limit it. A lot of my mental battle with not eating so much reminds me of the things people go through with a drug addiction.
I bought a great scale by Tanita-it was recommended to me on another weight loss blog.
Since we were rushing, today I ate:
Breakfast bar-12% daily fiber, 14% daily protein = 130 calories.
Water
Small can of V8 = 30 calories
The tiny pieces of cookie don't count, do they? (: = 20-30 caloriesHere are my stats:
The week of June 1, I weighed 185.
Date
Weight
Body Fat %
Measurements
June 1
185 lbs
June 5
181 lbs
41.2%
Largest upper arm: 13
Largest Bust: 44.5
Under bust: 35
Smallest Waist: 38
Waist-Just above navel: 39 ½
Widest Hips (both): 45
Widest This (1): 28 ¼
Widest Calf: 15 ½
June 7
178.8 lbs
*after nursing 28 month old lost .4 lb
41.8%
June 8
177.8 lbs
40.9%
June 9
179.2 lbs
40.9%
