Friday, July 20th Maintenance update

168 this morning. Wow. The lowest I’ve been in so many years. Here I am, sitting here hungry-or something. It is probably not hunger, but craving a routine. My stomach doesn’t hurt, it’s more like a sense of entitlement, everyone else is eating, and I should be able to, also.

But it is kind of like that saying, today is the first day of the rest of your life. If I want to be able to maintain y thinness, I need to have the willpower to make the right decisions most of the time. The right decision is not to eat, since it is 9:33pm and w just got home. I have got to stop eating late. My body doesn’t metabolize food well late at night. My body has also set itself on a schedule of eating times. I need to eat dinner at about 4. At the latest, I should finish eating 3 hours before bed, which for me means eating no later than 7pm.

It is these baby steps and mini lifestyle changes that will allow me to reach and maintain my goal weight. I am so happy to have maintained my weight since July 4th, without calorie counting and while exercising less. The truth is that if I’m not going to exercise, I must eat less, my body needs less. I really want to get rid of my bog clothes, so that there’s no going back.

I realize these are crazy ramblings, but I feel like a drug addict trying to say no to drugs while having a craving / going through withdrawal.

Looking back, there are still some times I eat when I‘m not hungry and or it is not logical for me to eat, and I need to nip that.

I love the empty feeling of not being full all of the time. It feels energized or peppy. I feel like I can jump up and conquer any physical thing, like run a marathon or anything. I also feel mentally ready to do anything. Eating too much and making poor food choices makes you feel less motivated.

I am just trying to journal my thoughts and feelings so I can look back on them with a feeling of satisfaction over how far I’ve come along my journey and so I can identify with what it meant to be a slave to food, after I’ve won the battle. I can do it!

I feel so good, my body feels sleeker to me, more slim, more feminine, more womanlike, when it isn’t filled up with food.

I realize I have come so far and really want to not ever backslide. Prayer against backsliding:
“Dear Lord, I come to you in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Ghost. I thank you for all you’ve done for me and are doing for me and my family. I thank you Lord, for providing good, healthy food for me to sustain my body with. Lord, I thank you for giving me the strength to eat healthy foods. Your Word says my body is your temple and I realize now that it is a sin to abuse your temple by over filing it with non nutritious food and by being a glutton. I know you would like us to fill our bodies with adequate amounts of food and I thank you for blessing me and my family to have more than enough food. I also believe that it is wrong to be wasteful of your blessings and it is wasteful to over indulge on your blessings. In the name of Jesus, I praise you, and give you all the glory. I thank you for being with me and giving me the strength through you when I do not have the strength. I thank you that through you I am more than a conqueror, even in the area of food and health. Lord, I thank you for giving me the strength to say No to bad food choices. I thank you that your work in me in this area will be a living testament to others what You can do. I love you and I praise you. In the glorious and majestic name of Jesus, Amen.