Sept. 29 Happiness is...

Why do I have a problem being happy? Dr. Laura might say it's because I was raised in turmoil, strife and conflict and it is a learned pattern that no one is happy in my family, so perhaps I feel deep down inside that I don't deserve it. I realized about a year ago that I have drama queen tendencies, in other words, sometimes, I create problems where there weren't any, because, I feel I don't deserve to be happy and content. What's the difference between content and complacent? I am a survivor, a goal setter and achievement-oriented. But sometimes, you just have to step back and say "life is good" and let the rest of the drama go.

And what does this have to do with weight loss? you ask. Since I have plateaued at 160 from an original weight of 185 it has been hard for me on a daily basis to appreciate my accomplishment. I see this pattern of thinking reflected in other areas of my life as well. I achieve something really nice that is pretty much what I wanted or more than I thought I wanted, and then I make myself set a new goal, rather than enjoy and appreciate where I am at that moment, which if I stand back and look at the situation is a good place. My neighbor just told me he can tell I've lost the weight and that I seem to glow. I know the things he said are true, but why can't I be happy with that inside if me. But I did need to hear that. I've been feeling down this week about some other things. Oh, the need for approval some of us have.

So, my commitment is to exercise 4-7 times per week for an hour 30 minutes high heart rate / cardio; and 30 minutes aerobic for fat burning. I don't see how after a year of that I could be overweight anymore.
One online calculator http://www.primusweb.com/fitnesspartner/jumpsite/calculat.htm said that I burn approx 400 calories per hour (I walk/jog about 4.5 miles in 1 hr)
another chart said Running: 5 mph (12 min/mile) 581.8 calories
Walk: 4.5 mph (13 min/mi) 458.1

And since my current activity level is active (it used to be sedentary or moderate) I need X number of calories to maintain my current weight. I keep thinking there has got be a way to eat and lose weight and have fun. But salt is evil. You retain water weight / pounds for a few days.

Calories Req'd
Heavy Exercise
2,531 cal = 160lbs 2308 calories = 130 lbs

Moderate Exercise
2,233 calories = 160 lbs 2008 calories = 130 lbs

When I'm all done losing weight, in case I don't want to exercise,
little to no exercise
1697-1765 calories = 130 lbs

so... I'll try to do 2000 calories per day right now. 1765 is kind of low for me right now.

Assume right now caloric intake = 2,382

Go down to 2000 = 382/day deficit = 2,674 / week = .75 lb per week. Which will take up to 40 weeks. Maybe I'm OK with a long term goal since I kind of like where I am right now, anyway.

Let me tell you about the ways this busy mom fit an hour of exercise into my life this week:
I haven't felt like going to the gym. But I did want to run. My husband started a new job with a new schedule on Monday, so after I helped make him and the kids lunches and after he left for work, I took my run all by myself at about 6:40am. I was back on time to take my kids to school. I did my full hour. I ran into my child's teacher from last school year and she called me "skinny lady". I loved that. It makes me glad when people can see it, since I can't always see the weight loss.

Tuesday I ran with my baby in his jogger stroller.

Wednesday I took my kids to school and had to be back at their school within 45 minutes (it's almost 30 minutes driving from home to school) because one of them was getting an award, so I parked my car at the school and ran around the neighborhood near their school. Then in the evening I left for my child's sports practice 35 minutes early and ran/walked with my kids by my side before the practice.

Nothing Thursday

Friday, (today) I felt like riding my bike so I did with my baby on the back. We did the full hour. I have no idea how many miles but probably 7-10 miles.

Each of my work outs is 1/2 high intensity and 1/2 aerobic, not so hard.

After being preservative and refined sugar and artificial flavor free for the most part for so long, I get sick when I eat these things. Splenda gives me headaches, white sugar makes me feel ill, processed wheat bread is addictive just like potatoes used to be, so I'll stick to whole wheat, which is also good, but is good for you, too.